Focus

<Nikon n90s, Kodak 400 ISO B&W film>

Ever had that experience where you are so fixated on one thing that you can't see or hear anything else? Yeah. That's where this boy was. He stood there for good 5 minutes staring at the tops going around and around and around. His father had to buy him one eventually. Shot taken at In-Sa-Dong in Korea on 2010 summer.

Irony

<Nikon D80, ISO 400, f/2.8, 1/10 sec>

Life is full of irony, sometimes so much that it is cruel. 
In the same hospital, some lives are born while some are ending.
Some part of the world is fighting obesity for life while another is fighting famine for life.
Technological advancement that were thought to enhance the quality of life might be the shortcut to the doom of life.


This picture was taken last year in Japantown in SF. I was browsing at a bulletin board while waiting for a friend. These two ads were posted right next to each other and caught my eyes. I found it ironic and clicked the shutter. I didn't have much feeling when I was taking the photo. But later that day when I was looking at it on my monitor, it then hit me how cruel this could be for the parents who would've posted the ads for the missing babies if they were to come back to see this. I sincerely hope they are reunited by now.

영화같은 순간

<Nikon D50 2008년 5월 광릉 수목원>

그래. 오늘은 한글인거다 ㅋㅋ. 뭐 블로그를 영어로 시작했다고 해서 꼭 영어로만 쓰라는 법있나.

며칠전 참으로 오랜만에 대학교 때 만난 Korean 친구들 하고 소주를 기울였어. 아이 엄마가 된 친구도 있고 파란만장한 20대를 보내고 지금은 평안한 30대를 보내고 있는 친구도 있었어. 그래서 자주 만나기는 쉽지 않아도 만나면 언제나 반가운 녀석들하고 나눈 얘기 중에 이런 이야기가 있었어. 정치, 경제, 종교, 연예등 온갖 이야기가 오고 갔지만 내 기억에 가장 남는 이야기는 인생의 반 정도라고 할 수있는 30년하고도 반 가까이 지나온 이 시점에서 그 누군가와 영화같은 만남을 가져본 적이 있냐...는 얘기였지... 벌써부터 닭살 돋는 사람들은 그만 다른 사이트로 옮겨가길.... 결론적으론 모두 그런 경험이 있더군. 유럽에 배낭여행 갔다가 정말로 우연히 버스 안에서 만났던 ex. 치열하게 아파하면서 만났던 예전 애인 이야기.... 이 정도 나이가 되면 누구나 한 번쯤은 영화같은 순간이 있기 마련인건가...

뭐 나라고 예외겠어. 영화 시나리오를 쓰고 싶을만큼 우연하게 만났다가 신기루처럼 사라져갔던 그런 만남이 있었지. 그 자세한 스토리는 굳이 여기에 옮기고 싶지는 않고... 다만 재미있는건... 친구들이랑 그 얘기를 나누는데 가슴 한켠이 뭔가 뭉클하더라고. 단단해질만큼 단단해졌다고 생각했는데도 그 한구석에 말랑말랑한 부분이 남아 있었나보지....

그래서 뒤적거리다 찾은 사진 한장. 영화같았던 순간들 중에서도 개인적으로 가장 영화 같았던.... ㅋㅋ 한국 광릉 수목원에서 찍은 한컷. 인도네시아에 살던 친구였는데... 덴장. 사진이... 뭐 이리 선명하게 남아있는 거냐. 사진속 그 사람은 앞으로도 영원히 이렇게 젊은채로 아름답게 남겠군. 잘 지내고 있겠지......

여기서 이만 끝!이 좋겠다.

Patience

<Nikon D80, ISO400, F/2.8, 1/10 sec>

One thing I learned since I started playing with camera. Patience is the virtue. I have heard and said that phrase a number of times before photography. But it really became meaningful once I started getting into taking photos. When you are in the darkroom trying to develop that perfect print, sometimes you have to go through several of them just to get one portion of the print right. When you are up in the hills in the middle of the dark night, sometimes you have to wait several hours to get the shot you want. In general, you will go through lots of trial and error. I don't have much experience in studio photography but I imagine it's probably similar. 


And all the waiting isn't that bad. If you get a good result after all that waiting, the sense of achievement is indescribable. However, even if you don't get a good result, you still feel okay because you know you have given enough try and learn from that waiting.


I think it's similar in life. If there is something you really like doing, be patient and hang in there. If you hang around long enough, eventually it will lead the way for you. At least give enough try so you don't end up regretting later.

Chocolate Box

<Nikon FM2, Kodak B&W 400 ISO, 35mm film>

My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

Looking at friends growing up

<Nikon n90s, Kodak 400 ISO B&W film>

I was visiting Korea a couple years ago and my buddy took me to this printing shop near booktown in Paju area. He is an editor and was in charge on publishing a new book. In this shot, he was proof-reading a book cover that he was in charge of. The serious look on my friend vs. the smile of the kid in the book cover drove me to click this one. 


I have known him since high school, well, I really spent lots of time with him only in high school, since I moved to the states right after. We still kept in touch and every time I visit Korea, we hung out. But still in my mind, he stopped growing up after high school. In my mind, he is still the dude who likes to make smart ass jokes in the class and was studying crazy hard to prep for college entrance exam. It felt quite weird to see him working and being so serious like in this photo. But then again, they probably felt similar about me too. Now that I think about it, I think I am subconsciously aware of this and what's probably why I never try to be serious around friends, whether it succeed or not =)

Fun is in doing

<Nikon FM2, Kodak 400 ISO B&W film>

Shots taken in San Jose State University. I was strolling around the campus with my camera in the summer and ran into a couple of kids on skateboard. They were having a blast in trying the flips. Asked them whether I can take some photos and they were more than glad to do it multiple times so I can get my shot. Whether they succeed in flipping or not didn't matter to them. It was just fun for them trying and trying again. 

We all have short term or long term plans and goals that we want to achieve in our lifetime. And I think once we get buried with the thought of results or success, we often tend to forget that what makes the whole thing really fun is  in doing them, not the result itself. Find what we enjoy doing and just have fun doing those. Worry about the outcome later because everything we experience becomes part of us in the end.

<Nikon FM2, Kodak 400 ISO B&W film>

Luck

Google tells me that Thomas Edison said "There is no substitute for hard work". And I am sure lots of people put relentless effort as the top virtue for success. But I will have to disagree.Hard work and relentless effort may be the foundation but you simply need the luck on your side to be successful beyond normal measure. It could be meeting right people at the right time at the right place. It could be adding wrong ingredient by mistake which turns out to be great tasting recipe. In this case, it was the man in the photo, a friend of mine, turning his flashlight on for a few seconds. I was going for long exposure and at first I thought the shot was ruined due to the flashlight. But, bam! It came out much better than what I had in mind. A total luck. 

Don't get me wrong. You do have to be out there in the ass freezing windy weather in the middle of the night to be able to get lucky =). Only the people who are well prepared will get to enjoy the benefit of luck.

Mask

This shot was taken at Union Square in San Francisco with 35mm B&W film. In the midst of busy crowd on a Saturday, he was right there by himself. One man crew. And he was very conscious about his surroundings as he constantly looked around. Whether due to the sunlight or as part of his act, he had this frowny face. And that irony made me start clicking as he started at me.


As I got older, I began to realize most of people wear masks and I am no exception. And it seems like I have always been wearing a mask or many of them throughout my entire life. However, I don't think I had a mask on when I was born so there must have been a period when I started covering my true self selectively. When was it? When could've I started wearing one. I believe it was when I moved back from Libya to Korea when I was 10 years old. From attending a school with about 40 students to suddenly being put in a school with thousands of students, I guess I was subconsciously shielding myself selectively revealing myself. I wasn't judged before in the old environment and in the new environment it was all about comparing and judging others. Pure peer pressure like in a jungle...


These days are constant battle for me to throw off any mask I subconsciously try to put on. Simply because I came to realize whatever others might think of you is quite irrelevant for your own happiness. Their opinions if genuine will matter and should be of some value to you. But most cases they are just their own subjective opinion with no factual bases. So what's the point of caging yourself under the mask?

First ever print

This was my very first print that I developed myself in the darkroom. The shot was taken in downtown San Jose, right in front of Martin Luther King Jr. Library.

An Indian family with father, mother and a son was standing together. As the father was handing out fliers about some spiritual gathering, the son was playing the little tabla and singing at the same time. I approached the father and asked whether it's okay to take the picture, which is the hardest part in street photography because once people realize there is a lens pointing at them, most of the time it can ruin the naturalness of the moment and won't get the shot you want. Later on, I learned to just take a shot first and ask them afterwards and if they don't want, you can delete it in front of them. 

I didn't know about filtering system on the enlarger so you don't see much contrast in this picture. However, at the moment when my first ever image popped up in the developer, I felt such a thrilling joy. My emotion at that moment is sealed together with this photo.

Time to lose blog virginity

According to Wikipedia, the word Blog was first used in 1997 and the actual activity of personal blogging goes back even further. So that's what now, approximately 15 years? For a decade and a half, I have been avoiding to start my own blog. To be perfectly honest, I am still not 100% sure what a blog really is other than it's a virtual location where I can post something, anything so it can be read and viewed by the rest of the world. I think one of the reasons I have been avoiding is because the concept sounds so unilateral. I only throw and you only receive. The fact that I got on board with other social media such as Facebook further confirms the reason. Maybe, I got it all wrong. Maybe, there is much more interchange. I guess time will tell.


So what is making me to start now? 


It is what I am crazy about that's driving me to blog. And my current passion is photography. It's not my day job and I am not a professional photographer. Nevertheless I can easily say that I am very passionate about photography without any hesitation. It has been since I was in high school and I kept pursuing it whenever I get a chance. And my main focus for the last 4-5 years has been on photography when I am not working. 


So this blog will be a window for me to channel out my thoughts, experiences, random stuff related to the photography in general. In return, I hope it will give me a chance to organize my ideas and it will become another element that will help me keep clicking away.


Stay tuned =)